Back in 2012, it took me about 6 months and 2 painful moves to find the right place for me to stay in Amsterdam. I've been living in that apartment for almost 2.5 years by now, happily ever after, up until the landlord announced that he sold the place and we need to get out.

Sigh.

And so I was back to the moving-drawing-board.

Luckily, first place I viewed seemed so perfect, that I immediately agreed to take it. 
Phew! That was easy.

I thought I was done with the most difficult part. Little did I know, that it's the actual moving that is going to be my fall this time.

Chapter 1.

Pre-arrangements

My thinking during my previous moves in the Netherlands was 'oh no worries, I don't have too much stuff, so me and my friends can carry some boxes and some small planks of wood up and down these insanely narrow and steep Dutch staircases without dying'. However, this time, I had actual pieces of massive furniture, including a 4 person couch, needing to be carried downstairs from the 4th floor, from a house somewhat similar to this:

Admittedly, I was even hoping that the couch won't fit through the staircase and door, in which case we would need to do the very very Dutch thing of 'takelen met touw en blok.' Ever wondered what those scary hooks were for on the facades of these Dutch houses?

Well, you basically just put up a wheel and a rope on these hooks, then tie your things onto the rope and then just let your things float down through your window onto the street. Probably the only really Dutch thing I had yet to experience. So I figured, I should do the appropriate thing for the situation and hire professional movers. 

So I did.

Chapter 2.

The missing ropes

They day has finally come, and the movers from StudentVerhuizers arrived as agreed 3.30pm.

After inspecting the situation, they started with the couch. Couch made it down one floor, but got stuck in the second staircase turn - as expected (and secretly hoped by me :) ). Conclusion: couch needs to go out the window. Wohoo! Unfortunately, my joy didn't last very long - turns out the movers didn't bring the touw en blok.

I was quite agitated and disappointed, as I had mentioned to them on the phone that we might be needing those ropes. Then again, I did have that conversation in Dutch, and even though at this point my Dutch is okay for handling appointments and some issues, I'm not well-versed in the jargon of moving appliances and tools. I'm sure I had said something along the lines of 'couch maybe go through window', and getting questions about 'hijsbalk' and 'haak' which I understand are words relating to the hook on my roof. To which I verbally nodded, as I know that those are reachable from my apartment, so I thought we were all on the same page and set for the task.

Anyhow, so not sure where the misunderstanding came from, but so the movers said they will go get the ropes and whatever is needed, and will be back in about 15-20 minutes. Okay, slightly annoying, but oh well, I guess ok.

After about 40 minutes of not being able to do anything and just waiting, they arrived, only to tell me: we don't have the thing.

Ehm, what? I seriously could not comprehend what they mean. What the what???

Yeah yeah, because 'something something the store didn't have it, and we can move everything else today, and move couch tomorrow'. Ha. Haha. I thought they are joking.

At this point, we are already more than an hour into our moving appointment, and the only thing that has been moved was half of the couch, one floor down. Not a very good ratio. I am starting to get really pissed with this company.

And the 'best' parts are yet to come.

Chapter 3.

Ropes still missing

So we are looking for solutions. One solution that they are trying to explain to me in half-Dutch, half-English, is that I would need to go with them by car to a shop closeby to rent out the depicted touw en blok, on my own cost, and then return it myself the next day.

I'm just blinking in perplex... Excuse me? You are trying to get me to pay unforeseen extra charges and have additional inconveniences for your problem? What the hell is happening???

I thought I was already angry and confused, but it got worse. As it turns out, just before the 2 movers have just gone all the way to this alleged closeby shop which is about 12 kms from my house, only to realise that well they can't rent that thing out because they would need to bring it back the next day, and they are not going to be in Amsterdam so that's not good for them. So instead of calling me while being in the shop, and telling me this, and maybe trying to arrange some solution for this, they decided to come back empty-handed to my doorstep, having wasted 40 minutes of my life, only to tell me that the best solution they were able to figure is that we go do the same 40 minute round with me so that I can pay extra and suffer extra, solely because of their incredibly incompetent problem-solving.

Okay. Breath in, breath out.

Let's not make business with these people, shall we?

I decide to call another moving company, who - unbelievably - seem to *have* the touw en blok and incredibly are still available for an appointment on the same day. So I turn to the gentlemen and say, 'Sorry, this isn't really working out with you, so I'd like to cancel this service, bye.'

Chapter 4.

Call the police!

It was naive of me to think I could get rid of them that easy. As soon as the word 'cancel' comes out of my mouth, the 2 gentlemen take a defensive pose and ask for '95 euros cancellation fee'. Oh, haha! Wonderful! I am having a hard time taking them seriously so I say 'I'm not going to pay for you  not being able to carry out the job I hired you for', to which their seemingly well-rehearsed response is to plant themselves onto my windowsill and repeat like parrots over and over how they refuse to leave until I pay. This is where to me, this really became more of a comedy-drama, than an actual business negotiation.

'You do whatever, but I won't pay'.

'Then we call police.'

Okay, hold on a sec. Am I actually being threatened by movers who failed to do the task I hired them for out of their own fault? That's a first. After friends confirm that I can't go to jail for this (need a reality check when hotheaded), I respond 'Okay.'

Seemingly, they get confused. They were not expecting that this threat would not work. So they call their boss, and force me to listen to his threats:

'Madame, if you cancel now, you need to pay 95 euros!!! Don't be difficult, it's in the contract.. don't make us trouble, we will call police, you don't want trouble, pay 95 euros...'

Great exercise in improving my assertiveness! I'm keeping my ground: 'no I won't pay, all of this is your fault, not mine.'

In the meantime I realise the absurdity of the situation: I'm in this apartment full of boxes, with a taken apart couch lying across several rooms and 2 movers refusing to leave, shoving phones at my ear from where a very angry man is yelling at me to give them money. Wow. And I thought hiring movers is going to make my move easier.

The tension rises, and the ridiculous back and forth blaming and threatening goes on for almost an hour, up until they really realise that I really am making an appointment with another company. Eventually they take me seriously and offer to do the thing they should have done back an hour or two ago: they say they'll rent the touw en blok themselves on their own cost and do the move with it now. Really. Promise. Awww, that's so nice of them, isn't it? That of course would still mean they have to do again that 40 minute car-ride before they can start. Ha. Haha. No thank you. At this point I really have no faith and trust in the problemsolving skills of these movers and have lost all respect towards their unprofessional way of handling the whole case.

After hearing that I have confirmed the other company, and repeatedly refusing to pay, they slowly give up and leave.

It's 6pm, and still the only thing that has been moved is half a couch, one floor down. This is going to be a looooong night....

Chapter 5.

The couch finally flies

It's 7.30pm, and the movers from Verhuis Goedkoop arrive. Not sure what to expect after the incidents of today. But, I can say it's a good start, watching them fling themselves up the several flights of stairs as if they just had 5 coffees, and getting down to work straight away. With impressive speed things are being carried down, while the couch is being wrapped for the flying. They know what they are doing and I know, we're in good hands now.

And indeed, soon enough, the couch finally gets its wings and finally does the bunjee jump it's been waiting for the whole day:

(Disclaimer: no couches have been harmed in the making of this video)

Now that's how you do 'takelen met touw en blok.'

Even though at this point the main work, namely the actual moving, is still ahead of us, I'm simply so relieved of having the professional help and service I needed, that I'm happily helping along. 

Carrying boxes down, running up, down, up down....

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By 11.30pm, we're finally done. Everything is in its place. Now I can finally go to sleep.

While going to bed, I'm wondering if the first company will attempt to sue me.. That would be another first!

Special thanks to Shakil and Mike for taking on our last minute moving request and carrying it out so flawlessly. They have truly saved the day - and the couch!